Episode 018 – When will you get a REAL job?
Starting a small business is very exciting and there is so much that you need to consider and get done. But often before you see great success there is a time that feels like its never going to happen and there is no money coming in. Loved ones often don’t understand the ebs and flow of small business and can put a little more pressure on you than you are keen for.
Where it begins- Money
Often when I am asked this question, I am sad for the person because I know for the hundreds of people I have spoken to, it can often boil down to three main areas. The first is money, we are often so excited and filled with hopes and dreams that we fantasize how much money we will make in the beginning. For many people they don’t see the return on their investment for the first 12 to 24 months. Everyone is different, and your journey will be completely your own. This can be really stressful on your partner as they are backing you, and believing in your abilities. When the money does not arrive into the household, it can feel like you have let the other person down or the household down. My advice is always to discuss and plan, my favourite word is back again “Planning” with your partner that initially it will take time to get your message out to the market and to refine your offerings. This is where I feel the 6 figure guarantees offered by coaches is wrong, because it creates a disillusioned vision of the struggle to get a business off the ground. You need to learn to be in business first, much like learning to crawl before you can walk! Communication is key, regardless where you are in that journey or lifecycle, take time to check in with loved ones and let them into your world.
The second is attention! When you start your own small business it takes time, and lots of it. I love the analogy of trying to get a concrete boulder to roll, it takes so much time and energy to get the inertia or movement happening, but once it starts it begins to roll under its own momentum. Your business is no different and loved ones will ultimately miss out on your time. You are focused and excited for your new adventure, and often you don’t realise that you are spending so much time on your business. This also includes being on your phone. For me I needed to take the time and sit with my daughter to explain and show to her that mum does so many different things on the phone, not just social scrolling, but banking, responding to emails, checking banking, shopping for groceries. But yes, even I need to limit my time on the phone to be present with my husband and daughter. Having a work life balance is not only important for your sanity, but it also means the ones that love you also can share in your attention. Setting great habits at the beginning of your small business journey will save you tremendous heartache in the future.
Jealousy and Envy
The third is often even more complicated and can be unsettling. This is where loved ones start to question their own abilities, feeling jealous, possibly fearful of you becoming more successful than them. This is so many levels of uncomfortableness, but I recommend that you get really comfortable talking about it. Talking openly about the ups and downs of running your small business is crucial for a wholistic picture to be formed by your partner. You don’t want to focus purely on the negative or the positive. When you are transparent on the struggles and challenges that you need to get through to get the results, it helps others realise if they are also cut out to do the same as you. This will definity help to open the conversation around jealously and feeling inferior. When it comes to feeling inadequate due to who is more successful, this speaks volumes around your partners views of the world and possible family conditioning. Women tend to feel this one the most. Men have for a long time been seen as the bread winner in the family. When women start to earn more money than men, they can often feel that their worth is diminished and that’s when trouble starts. Clear communication needs to be open here, and this one is not an easy fix and may require additional counselling. Please at no point should you put your dreams on hold to keep a spouse happy. I nurture women weekly who are dealing with this very issue. It comes down to be open to exploring with your partner ways in which he can still feel like he is contributing to the household. I know its getting better but we still have a LONG way to go, hang in there and remember communication is key!
Why they cant be everything
When starting our business, we expect our partner to be all things when it comes to supporting us in our journey. This is very unrealistic and often unfair. Just as with friendships and your relationship we gather our advice, shoulders to cry on and good time friends from a pool of people. Expecting your partner to do all this will only put stress on your relationship. Take the time to network and grow your business circle. I advocate quite strongly to surround yourself with businesspeople who are where you are at and higher. There are those that can support you and you them while there are others to strive towards and gain insight and clarity to grow your business.
We are conditioned that a JOB means there are strict deadlines and expectations, where at home many spouses don’t understand what you do all day, and why the washing isn’t done! Its cringe worthy to those of us that know just how hard it is to get everything done all in one day.
Time to be easier on yourself!
Business creation is trial and error, and if this is your first business you are guaranteed some form of failure. This can sting your partner or spouse in that they believe whatever you are doing is going to fail and better to pull the parachute now and get out, relying on a guaranteed income at a job. But we all know nothing is guaranteed so why are we so obsessed with thinking that a job is more secure? Yes the risks are lower, but you and I know that employment today is changing rapidly with more people working remotely and returning back to being self employed. Communication is everything with your partner or spouse, let them know that failure in some form or another is inevitable, and without the space to fall there will never be growth. Those entrepreneurs that go all in and back themselves are often the ones that fly the highest. What that looks like for you will be completely different to someone else. Please don’t compare yourself to others, it’s the theif of joy and your dreams.
They are entitled to their own opinions
One of biggest factors that we often miss when a spouse or partner resists our business or the business idea is the fact that they are entitled to their opinion. Its not always a necessity to change their mind or badger them until they see things how we see them. Its great when others can see things that we may not able to, it gives us options and a greater perspective. Embrace it if it is healthy, but also understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Discuss ways that you can find common ground and common expectations.
Lastly I want to leave you with a theory I talk about often. Its ok to have a part time job while you are building your business. Dont feel that it has to be an all or nothing approach, especially if you are in financial challenge. I see lots of so called gurus saying that you need to be all in, but that’s not always possible, start with what you have and where you are right now, build your business until you cover the part time income and then quietly and considerately give it up the job! This last sentence is important, there is no need to burn bridges, its just bad karma.
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Meet Your Host
From a young age I have been surrounded by business success. Having formally studied a Double Degree of Bachelor of Commerce and a Bachelor of Management, this led to many successful opportunities.
I have been an employee for large accounting firms and international companies. I have run two highly successful businesses, becoming sought after in my industry internationally.
I have spoken nationally on the topic of money management and loved having the quiet coffee making radical changes for my clients. I am not a limelight chaser, just a quiet achiever looking to make a difference in the world.
Thankyou for joining me on the podcast, my dream is to inspire you to take action that will create a difference in your life! Dream no more and live the life that you have always wanted.